Tuesday, November 29, 2005

ONLY CHILDREN, LONELY CHILDREN .... I DON'T THINK SO !!!

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting chatting with some mums at an "End-of-Netball-Season - We-Finished-On-Top-Of-The-Ladder" celebration at the local wave pool. Somehow we got chatting about "Only Children". Now, I am an only child, was never a lonely child, nor a "spoilt brat" (as only children are often called). I grew up in a street with heaps of kids to play with, had heaps of cousins .... our house was always full of kids, it was great. I never suffered as an only child, and was always amazed by those kids who had problems with being only children, or the parents who felt sorry for me for being an only child. It was never an issue for me.

It was never a conscious decision that we made, but my husband and I are also parents of an only child, and are happy with the decision we have made to only have one child. Our 11yo daughter (I'll call her "Chicky", to keep her anonymity!) is quite comfortable, also, being an only child, and never complains about having no siblings. She has lots of friends, and is well liked amongst her peers. As I was, she is also fortunate that we live in a street with lots of kids, so there is always someone for her to play with. She is a very social child, who gets along really well with kids of all ages, and has no problems approaching kids she doesn't know to make friends. She also gets along really well with adults, which I think is a bonus. Most people, on first impressions, are not aware that she is an "only child", as she is not anything like the stereo-type.

I guess, as she was growing up, I was always very paranoid about her becoming the stereo-typical only child, so made sure that she was well "socialized" so as not to become a loner. We have made a point to not jump to her every whim (the "spoilt brat" thing really worried me). And she knows that money doesn't grow on trees, it has to be worked for and earned. According to comments from other parents, when Chicky has been over at their homes for "play-dates" with their children, she has displayed nothing but "normal" behaviour, is very polite, remembers her manners, and is over-all a very nice kid. Of course, she IS a kid, so we also experience the not-so-nice stuff, on occasions, that all parents of multiple children also experience. She is, after all, just a normal kid ... only child, definitely not lonely child.

In this day and age, I think we will find more families opting to have only one child. With the cost of living being what it is, it is easier to provide the best you can for only one child. That being said, I greatly admire parents who have chosen to have more than one child. I imagine it is a challenge, but a wonderful challenge. Also, if one child gives huge amounts of love and cuddles, I guess multiple children give the love and cuddles in multiples too !!!!

I think we all need to just love and appreciate what we have, as with times being what they are, who knows what we may find around the corner.

Take Care, Until Next Time,

MEOW

5 comments:

Michelle said...

Welcome to "blogworld" Meow! I'm Madi's sister inlaw :o)

Like you, we too have one child. Not a concious decision on our behalf, just turned out that way. The 3 of us are very close, and whilst not too many kids for "A" to play with in our street, she's a popular kid at school, academic, well adjusted, and informs us she loves being an only child..LOL probably because she is spoilt! Definately not a brat though.
In a way i am glad we only had one, given both of us have very busy careers, i don't think the attention could have spent on 2+, but we have spent tons on "A".
She turns 10 this week......my god, i feel 10 years older too!!!

Enjoy blogland..love your pink template, perhaps you can convince Madi to update her green!!

Meow said...

Thanks, Michelle, great to hear from you.
I really enjoy only having one child, always wanted a girl, got that, so didn't think it was necessary to try again !!!
Chicky and I get along famously, tell each other everything (well, as much as an adult can tell an 11yo !), and have our little niggles also (we are females, after all !). All the hormone thingies are starting to happen, so we are coming up to a scary time (for me, anyway !!)
We really enjoy only having one, as we do a lot of travelling and holidaying, and it seems like it would be easier with one ! (My opinion anyway !)
Also, once she goes to secondary school in 2007, I will look at getting back into the work-force (if only part time), whereas if there were 2 or more kids, the restrictions would continue for longer (if you know what I mean).
Take care, bye for now

Madi said...

I love your pink but also the green in my blog is calming and quiet. We're not all ourageous like Michelle :-)

Meow said...

Thanks Madi. I love my pink, but you are correct, the green is calming. However, I am looking for something more interesting for my blog template, as I think it needs more colour, etc. I love busy stuff (you should see my house - not so much the colour, but the busy-ness of it) !!

Michelle said...

Moi, outrages? LOL, NEVER!! Live a little sister!